Jade (comics)

Jade (comics) (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Ok, what would you consider to be THE most embarrassing thing that you have EVER, EVER done? Let’s face it we have all done something that we’d really rather forget. Unfortunately, those around us don’t see why it should be forgotten at all. In fact, they make a mental point to remind you of it as often as possible, so they can re-live the event to the height of its absolute frivolity.

Let’s put a bit of pressure on this. On a point score from 5 to 10, how would you rate your “event”? We’ll start it a 5 because anything less than that probably wasn’t all that bad, 10 of course is the worst. Working on the theory that there is always someone out there that is worse off than you. That is, they have REALLY topped the chart with an all-time blooper, we’ll see how things really measure out.

Can you top this one though?

Being an overstressed mother of hypo- energetic young children I seldom have the time, let alone the mental attitude, to do something “nice” for me. Hence this particular morning I decided to do just that. My list of “to-does” for the day was reasonably long – as usual.

Consisting of;

Washing, washing up, cleaning up the house etc., feeding all the animals, picking up the eldest daughter from work, the younger ones from school…blah, blah, blah and of course shopping. Somewhere in this endless tide I scribbled, moisturising face mask. Sounds good doesn’t it?

Well, I tossed in the washing fed the animals and started to clear up the house. Then I remembered the promise I had made to myself and dashed into the bathroom to plaster on my treat. It takes about 15 mins to dry so I dashed back to work whilst I waited.

The phone rang and it’s the eldest daughter adding more requirements to my foray into town. Yes, Ok I’ll jot them on the list.

The horse decides not to stay in the back of the house yard and makes a quick escape out onto the main road.  So off I trot to retrieve her before any traffic comes along.

My pet Galah decides not to stay on my shoulder whilst I’m at the chook yard and it takes me 45 minutes of knee grovelling in the dirt, to get him out from under the horse float. Where he is happily devouring little bits of rock…yes they eat rocks for their digestion.

The husband plonks some accounts to be paid “right now”, on the kitchen table as he flashes in and out the door on his way to some distant appointment.

The school calls and informs me that my 8yr old son has had a tooth knocked out by one of his class mates, they can’t find the tooth but it’s OK because he’s ceased crying and they’ve almost stopped the blood. What the?

Whilst I peg out the washing, it hits me that time has overtaken me and I have to get moving if I want to get the shopping done before I pick up the kids from school, and the eldest daughter from work.

I drive to Woollies Shopping Centre and skim up and down the aisles as fast I can. Geez people are friendly, so many smiling, happy people today. Ah well, I smile back and have some lovely little chats. It takes longer than I thought it would to get through the checkout, but I don’t mind because everyone is so friendly and chatty. I decide to let the younger kids catch the bus home because I have run out of time and just pick up the eldest daughter instead.

Sitting in the car outside the pet shop where she works I contemplate that this is the first time I have really sat still all day. The eldest daughter emerges from work and proceeds to plonk herself in the passenger seat next to me.  Her eyes and her jaw drop to the floor. She almost falls back out of the car and yells, “What the hell have you got on your face?”

I had forgotten about the mask, my lovely luminous (as in glow in the dark) Line Green Avocado Facial Mask. No wonder everyone was happy, and no- one questioned me about it. Gee is that “acceptance” or what? Talk about free choices. If I choose to wear a mask whilst I shop, everyone is fine with that – as long as it isn’t a balaclava. I think it’s kind of cool how it made so many people happy. I bet the Green Lantern gets that buzz all the time.

As someone is always supposed to be worse off than you, I’m not entirely sure where I should rate this on the chart, but I think it has got to up there. Unfortunately, there aren’t any pictures of me….thankfully. Oops, I mean what a shame.

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