The Outside Dunny 

Stormy night, raging wind,

Howling gusts upon loose tin,

Creaking boards, neath unsure tread,

Nights like these I really dread.

Flickering glow from fading torch,

Briefly shows the edge of the porch,

A winding trail, so dim and eerie,

Whipping branches, shadows leering.

Lightning forks across the sky,

In the storm, a dogs mournful cry,

Shuffling quickly, each step shaking,

There’s no possibility of faking.

I have to go and that is that,

It’s too late now to be turning back,

Nature’s call can be severest,

Late at night when storms are fiercest.

The dunny door appears in front,

Looming up, like a huge tree truck,

One swift kick to open it wide,

One quick dash to get inside.

Checking fast for nasty things,

Whip pants down, let the job begin,

Finish quickly, and off again,

Torch light fading, very dim.

Homeward journey even worse,

Monsters lurking along the course,

Run like hell, don’t wait to see,

Which one’s gaining ground on me?

Onto the porch with a thundering tread,

Miss the door, hit the post instead,

For a moment, a shattering halt,

Then through the open part I bolt.

Back to bed, under the covers,

Wishing it weren’t mine, but mother’s,

Safe again, feeling fine,

Warm and snug, until next time.

© 1989